ya know, a lot of people, upon encountering their first bathroom guy, ask "why aren't you working the women's bathroooom? that's gotta be where it's at!" it does always make me chuckle. i always retort with, "nah, i suspect most women don't carry cash. that's what you're here for."
plus, every guy in here keeps gooooooooin on and on that there are no cute girls out there, and as soon as one sets her cute self in here, you yell at her! i'm pretty sure they'd do the same thing to you, if you walked in, and it would be way to hard to break the dynamic for me.
"alright, alright maybe so..."
"oh i know so baby, and the things is, you don't want girls in here. cause this is where you wanna fuck with your boys. man flirt a lil bit, it's all good. that's probably what they're doing in there." *shrug* "the best thing is, when the girls do come in here and you guys aren't in here. cause then i can flirt like crazy. they can dig it, because i'm making them comfortable in an otherwise uncomfortable space, and they know it isn't real. since they know that i'm working, i can say 'sup girl, you need a condom, or a smoke for later ;)" and they'll laugh.
one time this lady waved me over in the girls bathroom. i stayed put, because my set up was there, but told her to come into the boys. 'it's cool, there's a stall. ;)' she walks in and gloats all over about how cute i am in my bow tie. 'take a shot with us booooy' "bring it into the bathroom and i will..."
once a woman and her 3 pronged possie told me i look like a stripper...
"haha, thanks, so do you..."
"are you gay?"
"...ya know, as gay as i need to be to get a tip ;)"
they walk away.
"i knew it, he's suuuuuuuuch a faggit!"
i check my pack of lights. i've smoked half, goddamn it.
it's been pretty suprising how open i am about being queer at this job. on my second shift ever i was terrified. the bathroom was set up so that there was a whole nother room for stalls and urinals than the wash room. that meant as i said hello to people as they walked in, i also got a look at their back[side]. 6/10 times they said something about some faggot. i got worried. now though--maybe thanks to a bit of drink--it kind of just comes out of me. this guy came in one time, we struck up a conversation and i immediately knew he was queer. as we're chatting he avoids a phonecall.
"ugh...my boyfriend won't leave me alone!"
"oh yeah?" I ask, quite surprised he confirmed my suspection.
"yeah, he wants to go down town, but i don't wanna do the fag thing tonight. i just wanna chill here and get drunk."
"hell yeah dude, my experience with gay clubs hasn't been the best. are you alright at bars like this? no one really fucks with you or anything?"
"nah, i do fine...i'll be back with your g&t soon."
"see you then..."
the man from the previous post, who came out to me at the end of the night, avoids my gaze. i can usually get a head bob or wave from most of the people that recognize me, but not from him. i wonder if he worries about me outing him? the last time i was at that bar, it was country night. someone told me, "hey when i go to wash my hands i'll do it." this is a common response from people who seem to feel wierd about not tipping, or maybe just weird about someone helping them do such an easy task. the only thing is, people suck at it. i do it all night, for multiple people at once. i am so much faster than you could ever hope to be. i explain to this man that he'll just be slowing me down and make my job harder, but her persists.
"nah, i can do it man. i refuse to let you wash my hands. you're doing a job that i can do myself."
"i know you can do it...."
"nah, i can't let you do a job that i can do. if someone else is doing a job that you can do yourself, than they're doing a nigger's job."
"yo, fuck you. get the fuck out of my bathroom."
"what? i didn't say anything"
"i'm black."
"nah, you ain't dark enough...."
"look at me! fuck you, and GET OUT!"
"ah man, i didnt...i said nigga"
"no, you didn't...and even if you did, you can't say that, you're white."
"ah i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend..."
"no one ever does..."
"...and i'm not racist i work with people of all races..."
"you may not be racist, but what you said is..."
"now get out of fuckin bathroom"
he reaches into his wallet after telling me he has no tips all night. four dollars suddenly appear.
he places it in the tip plate and apologizes once more as he leaves. i feel that i shouldn't take it, but i've made $11 tonight. i pack up my shit and leave. i hate white supremacy.
i wonder about having to affirm blackness for people to take their racism in my presence seriously. i'm of anglo saxan and cuban descent. there might be some black in there somewhere, and i ususally have positive racial conversations with other people of color. most start with the question "are you black?" some of have said i have a unique vantage ponit to fight racism, but i'm not sure if affirming an ethnicity that i'm unsure of is the right way to do it.
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