Saturday, February 5, 2011

le fin absolue du blog

heeeey, you. i got fired. bummer. i guess this is the end of this blog. it was a lot of fun to write. to everyone who read it and gave me compliments and critiques, thank you so much. you made it worth it. when someone told me how much they liked it, i felt encouraged to write more, and i looked forward to working. "wait til they read this!" i was quite suprised that it was not only read by peers, but some professors and 'superiors' if you will. there's got to be a better word for that...i digress...

some friends critiqued the implicit sexism that i took part in, and that forced me to rethink how i worked within that space. i appreciate your candor.

to my coworkers, if any of ya'll read this, i miss you. when we got together it was always nice to chat about the crazy shit that went down. i definately miss being able to hear stories that rival the zanyness of these.

to all the people i met at the 'local shops' after work, you're great. you also made this job more fun, and i'd like to think that i made yours cooler too. regardless, i always love seeing ya'll, and even though it's a less constant thing now, its just a matter of means i assure you. i hope you don't move onto bigger and better things before i see you again :)

working on nights rife with homophobia, racism, and sexism forced me to learn how to approach people,and 'deal with' their actions. i learned a lot. i remember one moment in particular: i was talking to this guy for a while, vibing pretty good. he got into the regular ' do you like this job? c'mon, man...' whole talk and i outed myself to him pretty quickly. he had called some generic guy a fag, i think talking about pledges who weren't cool or something. and said, "you know, as a queer man, sometimes this job is a bit much" and then he stopped. and kind of backtracked, but not in a like oh, i'm so sorry way, but more sort of owning that he didn't mean anything anti-gay when he says that. i know that this argument is pretty bad, but in this case it was honest. and it went well. for the rest of the night, he talked about how he doesn't care if people are gay or whatever. interesting little piece of his guard down for sure.

and i know that to some (most?), it had to be hard to read about the hateful things people did or said. remember that guy who threatened to kill me? yeah, me neiher. but, i don't know it is still almost surreal that i vibed with all these people. and when it really came down to it, we flirted. and i came out to a handful of them. and they were great still. i guess i shouldn't be stoked--maybe just thankful--that i wasn't assaulted or ridculed, but i sort of learned to weasel my way through people's words and find that part of them that was down to talk and vibe and whatever. i guess what i'm saying is, is that even though some people said or did hateful things, you gotta try and make sure you take em still as people. cause if you don't, then you'll never be able to figure out how to talk to them and maybe get them to rethink their shit.

god i really want a gin and tonic and to sing mariah carey with jock bar hoppers.

thanks everyone,

you really made this worth while.
-a.

1 comment:

  1. I hope I'm not being inappropriate when I say "ha..haha.ha" this shits funny.
    I mean, losing your job sucks I guess.. but it sounds like a shitty job(no pun intended)..

    i lost I believe 3 jobs this month.. but I'm not sure... what happens is I end up being ridiculously late, like 3 or 4 hours late(like 3 or 4 times in a row) and then I assume I'm fired and then get another job. I may not have been actually fired in which case I have 3 jobs. but its unlikely. I guess I should call because I have multiple small pay checks.

    the most recent one, I was hired to promote a bunch of parties at mansion, and cameo and the best of the best concert this past two weeks, but i never really worked. I kept showing up late and then just going straight to the parties for free and getting tottally trashed, I'm not sure what they where paying me for but they owe me like $200 for sure. I should definitely blog about this,and call for my money...

    anyways..what I wanted to comment about is that this is interesting because you DID VIBE with those ummm, 'creepy' people and dont take this the wrong way but you must necessarily have been a little creepy your self(at the time).. the only way NOT to have gotten fired is to have continued to put out a creepy vibe which you obviously didn't and that explains why you got fired.

    but what i think is cool is that you acknowledge the fact and even more cool is that you saw positive aspects in the whole ordeal. had you not, you would still be there... i learned that from your story, thanks.

    In the past, recently, i was getting really pissed at people and totally refusing to acknowledge that I was putting out a vibe or that there was anything good to see in them at all and thats the worst cause it only brings more 'creeps and ordeals'(good name for a band??naa). but I figured it out to and chose to see them as just regular people going thru shit just like me, even kinda regarding them with affection after a while; At that point they disappeared and the whole situations opened up to something better.

    now I cant even i understand why i was so upset, it doesnt make any sense,just stupid trival crap in retroscpect...

    but anyways what else did i want to say??? oh yeah i could reaaly use a gin and tonic too.. not really my drink, i'm more of a scotch on the rocks type person, but gin and tonic sounds good rite about now....

    good story
    -peace out

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